Substitute Blues

Hi, it's a total drag getting a sub for your class (preparing sub lesson plans, students getting out of control, etc). Apparently, my 7th graders didn't react well to Mr. P. After getting a negative report, my team teacher had them type up a letter explaining why Mr. P called them 'rude' and an apology. Here's a sample

Gifts to Give

This month's theme: Gift Etiquette.

One of the 3rd grade assignments is to create a list in Excel of gifts you'd like to give to family and friends.

I wonder if the boots for Stefany are the ones with the fur?

Basketball

Thank goodness for Luke, he makes the game lovely to watch.

Sometimes, Creepy-Looking Guys Really Are Creepy

There's this guy at church that dresses pretty weird (women's faded skinny jeans, white flats, and cardigan). Well, he always goes out of his way to talk to me and I do return the convo but I must draw the line! He's been creeping me out and he knows it because he always begins the conversation with: "Sorry I creeped you out last time" and I respond: "THAT'S OK." Notice that I didn't say "No, you didn't creep me out." Anyway...

There's this other guy at church that had called me about 2 weeks ago to ask me out. I thought it was the creepy guy so I lied; I told him I was dating someone. I was on the verge of telling him the truth, but I couldn't find a "nice" way to say it. I wanted to say, sorry you're not my type and I don't want to waste your time or money and especially not mine.

Yesterdy, my sister came to church with me and I pointed out the creepy guy and said: "That's the guy that asked me out!"

She gasped and said: "NO! you've got the wrong guy!" and directed me to a non-creepy guy. She explained the situation to him.

We managed to patch it up somehow but the noncreepy now seems a little reluctant to take me out.

What's a Cursor?

Miss Macias: "Students, who can tell me what a 'cursor' is?"

Student: [Shoots arm into the air and waves it frantically]

Miss Macias: "Yes, student?"

Student: [In a most serious tone] "It's a person who says bad words."

Miss Macias: uhhh...hmmm... [thinking, "how could I fix that one?"]

Mind Your Manners

This year's project theme for my computer students: Manners and Etiquette

In preparing for a lesson I ran into this site. I will not be using it in my lesson.

Proper manners vary widely from culture to culture. But what about in America? What are the proper manners? Fortunately I’ve compiled what I believe to be an excellent source of recommendations should you be visiting the U.S. soon.

Manners for Guests in an American Home

House Guest Rules:

1. Most Americans will smile and shake hands or may even give a simple hug when first meeting. Kissing on the cheeks is thought to be too forward in most instances. However, make sure that you kiss and cuddle and ooh and awe over the family pet. Your hosts use this as a gauge of whether you will fit into their home. Loving the pet is imperative.

2. Informality is not unusual in an American home. Hosts often will say, "Make yourself at home," to a guest. However, this does not mean that you may eat the last of any opened package of your host’s favorite cookie. If you are given permission to eat the last cookie decline even if your host insists, as they are only being polite while inside they are hoping you won’t eat it. It is not considered rude to say you have reconsidered and would rather have another snack, as both you and the host will know you are saving them face.

3. Ask your hosts how they prefer to be addressed. This will likely be by their first name or Mr. or Mrs. and their last name. Be considerate of this request. Attempts to call them anything otherwise such as “Homer and Marge Simpson” or “My fat, lazy American hosts” probably won’t fly. Insisting later that you only meant it as a term of endearment may cause them to chuckle lightly, but you can never be certain that they have truly dismissed it. At some point in some small way they may get even. This is the American way.

4. Do not remove your shoes when entering an American home. Only members of the family who actually reside in the home may do this or if you have been a guest for at least a week. Removing your shoes at an entrance is a signal to an American that this is somehow your house and you can do what you please. Wipe your shoes on the doormat and then proceed to enter. If you are still tracking dirt return to the doormat and wipe again. If they are extremely muddy ask for a rag and wipe them outside or hose them off and dry them. Apologize but do not ask if you can remove your shoes, ever. Your host would rather clean the carpet later rather than see or possibly smell your socks or bare feet. (Americans will only remove their shoes and hold them up in a shoe store when they are gesturing to a shoe salesman that they need help.)

5. Do not ask to use the host's toothbrush or underwear. This does not mean that it is all right to use them discretely without permission because you are trying to avoid embarrassing your host by asking. Do not think that if you use them and clean them it is all right either. If you are caught with them in your possession you will be in the wrong. Yes, you will be in the wrong even if you are not using them but simply carrying them about. Do not offer to clean them later to be helpful.

6. Never ask your host how much money they make or expect them to give you money because you assume all Americans are rich. Rather if you are short on money say, "Can I borrow a few dollars until I can get more funds?" Americans are happy to lend, but don't forget to say thank you immediately and always pay it back promptly. That is considered polite. Do not say, "Americans have an obligation to give money to people in other countries because of their political policies in the past" and then proceed to ask for cash, ATM codes or signed blank checks. You will receive nothing and will instead incur their wrath, which varies from individual to individual and might not be pleasant.

7. Do not bother asking your hosts when tea is. They will not understand, but may offer you a glass of iced tea. Others may say, “Did you mean to ask where the tea is? If we have any its in the cupboard.” Its best to just make your own tea when you want it. Your host will be pleased that they are not responsible for making it. Do not be surprised if you can not find a kettle or teapot.

8. If you break anything in your host’s home tell them immediately saying, for example, "I am so sorry, I broke your television set". They will not be angry and will readily forgive you although you will be buying them a new television set, their choice and probably something expensive.

9. Do not play on your host's computer without their permission. Do not open and read emails or send out embarrassing emails you've written to people in their address book posing as them. Do not delete files or move them to other directories, modify pictures or send their personal financial information and credit card numbers to friends and family in your home country. Do not remove programs, change operating systems and passwords or move the computer into your room without permission. All these things are frowned upon and would require a sincere apology of at least 5 minutes in length to avoid police action.

10. Never start a fire in your host's home. Put on an extra sweater if you are chilly or ask the host politely for another blanket, but do not start a fire in a wastebasket or hibachi indoors to warm yourself. Most American homes are not built with cinderblocks and are not fireproof, but will likely go up in blazes within minutes. Burning down your host's home and all their possessions is considered an insult. It is also likely they will not pay your hotel costs while you find new living quarters.

Meal Rules:

1. In the US punctuality is a highly valued trait. To be late for an invitation is insulting to the person who is kept waiting. Therefore guests invited for dinner at 6.00 pm on Tuesday, for instance, are expected to arrive at 5:59 pm or 6.00 pm, perhaps at 6.01 pm but not later than 6.02 pm. Guests who are unable to be on time will telephone their hosts, beg forgiveness for their lateness and give an estimated arrival time which better not be greater than 6:04 pm. Its best to just leave early and wait outside their front door until it is precisely 6:00 pm and then ring the doorbell. As they open the door smile and say, "I hope I am not too early or late." to which they will reply, "No, you are right on time." although they may be seething inside if you are in fact 45 seconds late. Remember to set your watch with the atomic clock as soon as you arrive in the US.

2. The host will tell you where to sit. This will most likely be on a chair placed close enough to the table for you to reach the plate. Feel free to move your chair in and out to find a comfortable position from the table. Do not, however, insist on moving or rotating the table or removing extraneous pieces of dining room furniture or knick-knacks because you will only eat in a feng shui environment where the element of water creates a prosperity corner. Your hosts may not wish to have their home “enlightened” and you will know this if you are assigned a prosperity corner by the dog’s waterbowl*.

3. It is polite to wait for others at the table to be served before you begin eating unless someone at the table announces, "I'm eating now while the food is still hot. If you want to be stupid and wait that's your problem", in which case everyone will grab their fork and dig in as no one wants to be labeled "stupid". Don't be last.

4. Food is passed to the right. If you pass it to the left you will hear large gasps and receive major glares from the other guests. You may even be taken aside and brutally chastised. Food is passed to the left at a funeral so unless you are indicating that you wish the host is dead or that their food tastes like food for the dead, you might want to practice your right from left hand before sitting at the table. There is no forgiveness for this.

5. Keep the table and tablecloth as clean as possible. Do not put bones, dentures, leaves or pet insects on the table that may wander off onto someone else's plate.

6. Do not spit any food out onto your plate. Do not spit onto your lap or your cup or another guest’s plate or even out a window. You will not receive applause or cheers for distance spitting as you might in your home country. If there is something in your mouth that you are having problems swallowing (e.g. bones, seeds, etc.) you better darn well just swallow it and go on.

7. Do not overload your mouth with food and then attempt to start a discussion. It is considered polite to look at a person when they speak and no one wants to watch you slide food side to side in your mouth, or spray and dribble it down your chin while you tell us about your wonderful country. You're going to make people sick and throwing up at a table is considered rude in America.

8. Watch how fast others are eating. Try not to be too slow or too fast. You might try to keep up with their pace by following what the person across from you is doing. Do not, however, feel you must mirror everything that person does. Double coughs or requests for green bean casserole may go largely unnoticed, but repeating every sentence they say and using duplicate hand gestures may draw stares and tsks. This is known as "copycatting" and is only acceptable between the ages of 4 and 10. It is best to avoid being labeled childish as you may be asked to move to the folding table with the other children in which case just hang your head, take your plate and go.

9. Never wipe your face, teeth or neck sweat on the table napkin even though you may assume that's what its for. The eating utensils are not souvenirs to be pocketed.

10. When you are finished eating say, “What a delicious meal! Thank you so much.” Avoid overzealous burping, common in some countries, as it only nauseates most Americans or causes them to be forced to restrain otherwise painful, uncontrollable laughter which is an unkindness. A simple apology is best. Do not make a big scene by fanning the air.

© 2004 Suzanne Weber

The Dirty 30

Here we are celebrating Golden's at Duke's in Huntington.

Congratulations Daniel & Liza (and Christopher too)!

Daniel and Liza tied the knot yesterday, August 18, 2007. I want to congratulate them for taking such an important step in their life and wish them the best. Thank you for inviting me to be a bridesmaid :-) I had a lot of fun. The ceremnoy and reception were beautiful and everything was perfect.




The Flower Girl Getting Ready



Before she sees the Groom



Sisters of the Groom



At The Pike in Long Beach (we saw Victoria Beckham there)



Our new sister-in-law



Bride & Bridesmaids



Bride & Son



Daniel, leaving his bachelor days behind



My Sister & Nephew



Me & My Bro


My Bro-in-law showing off his sweet dance moves

Settling in - Settling down

Oh the joy of learning and getting trained on the new job. I just started work this week with my first job out of grad school. Beyond Technology Education is a company that teaches technology to students, teachers, and helps integrates technology in private and public schools. I will be teaching technology/computers to K-8th graders starting next week, yikes! I'm super excited as I will be working with my passion, technology, and with children.

The room we trained in today was freezing, it reminded me of Utah winters, which I will not experience this winter and mos def not miss. I guess the cold really got to me, I kept asking the most airhead questions and making ridiculous comments like: 'Why am I being asked to change the color of the "slide"?' Then the trainer points to a picture of the kind of slide you see in a playground; what a hilarious misunderstanding!

I'm stoked about my boss and the people I'm working with; they're all really good people. They are spoiling us already; expensive restaurants and nice hotels on the beach (even when some of us live only half hour away). I know I'm going to love my job, if not, I already know I'm going to enjoy all the perks! I just got back from my boss' house, he and his wife hosted a welcome-to-the-company dinner; amazing house in Southern Orange County. Right before I left he reminded me of how it was 'meant to be' that I work for the company. I'll have to write another post for that story, though.

Huntington is great, I have no complaints anymore. I had some rough patches but they seem to be smoothed over. I'll be working in Pasadena so I'll be moving out there this weekend and coming home on the weekends since I want to continue to go to church in Huntington. Besides that, not much else to report, hope you're all doing great!

Upon Arrival

I arrived to the sunny and humid weather of So. California about a 1.5 weeks ago. I still feel like I'm in the process of moving since I haven't unpacked. Upon my arrival, I interviewed with a company based out of Chino Hills. I'm proud to report that I did land the job and I will be working in Pasadena as a technology teacher. I'm super excited about my job and looking forward to moving out there. I've heard good things about Pasadena and will hopefully find a gem for a housemate. I will surely miss the clean air, mountains, and my friends. I will not, however, miss driving in the snow. Here is a clip of my bro-in-law reading the kind note that was given to me before I left, he says: "this is how I imagine the guy that gave this to you."

"By unanimous decision..."

The votes are in. 'Moving to Southern Cal' won by a landslide. Thanks to all those who voted, I now know what to do with my life. California: here I come. It looks like only one person will miss me here in Utah. Cali friends, I'll see you around mid-July!

Should I stay or should I go?

I can't decide, help me decide...



I just got back from Huntington. I went out for a few job fairs and to look for employment. As some of you know, I just graduated and I'm looking for a job that pays what I deserve. I miss LA and Huntington Beach so much but I'm so comfortable here in SLC. I can't decide if I should stay in SLC or if I should just move out there with no job. Right now I'm working part-time in SLC from home with full benefits. I'd keep the job and move to Calif but I can't work from out-of-state. If I stay in Utah I'd have some source of income and can job search when I get off work, around noon. If I move out to CA I'd have to move in with the parents until I find a job (ugh!). I'm so ready for a change, I'd love to move to LA but I can't until I have a job offer. It sucks looking for a job in CA when I'm in UT. Then I think about Salt Lake, I like it here, most of my friends are here, it's clean, not as much traffic, I'd be able to purchase a nice house in the near future, hmmm...what else? I love OC and LA, perfect weather, it's where I grew up, I miss it, I need a change. BUT the traffic is depressing, I wouldn't be able to afford a house until I'm about 40, and living with my parents until I find a job is scary!

Tools of Ignorance

Tools of Ignorance (n): baseball slang term for catcher's equipment.

I agreed to watch my friend, Adam play city league co-ed softball on Friday. First requirement: four girls minimum on each team. Only three girls had shown on Adam's team, the fourth girl was going to be late. And guess what? Yes, I was told if I didn't play I would force the team to forfiet. What?! I don't like playing playing sports, mostly because I'm not very athletic. I love watching sports but playing, no way! I never played sports when I was growing-up only during recess and P.E. Even then, I didn't enjoy it very much. I would rather run the mile than play flag-football. I thought of two excuses: (1) I was wearing flip-flops and (2) I haven't played since elementary and I sucked. I know I sucked because evertime I came up to bat the outfielders would take about seven steps closer because they already knew I didn't hit the ball very hard.

Well, those excuses didn't work. I was given a long pair of red socks and Converse and was told to erase the elementary school memories. The first time I went out to bat I hit the ball and didn't make it to first. The second time, I didn't attempt a hit and walked. Adam hit me in. The last time I went up to bat I striked out. My outfield position: catcher. Playing catcher was not easy, I throw like a girl. The next day my arm was sore.

I have to admit that I had eff you en. Final score: Us 16, Christians 14. At the end of the game the Christians did a prayer circle and Adam joined it to be silly. In their prayer they said: "Please help those in this circle that haven't accepted you." I think they were talking about Adam, he he he.

"there is one thing I would break up over and that is if he caught me with another man. i wouldn't stand for that."

i've been addicted to blogging this week. oh yeah, it's because I don't have anything better to do. just wanted to share a silly, silly story with you and a short film to compliment it.

so the story goes, there is this guy that i met briefly about four years ago. we lived in the same complex down in happy valley and we only interacted twice after our first encounter. shortly after he moved away. i then ran into him again last may after many years. he asked for my number and i gave it him, thinking he's alright. well, he never called and i had forgotten about him. i then get a call this last may from him and he asks me out. we have lunch one saturday afternoon for an hour and he wanted to tag along to a concert with me, so i let him.

the day of the concert i told him to just meet me there because i knew my o.c.d. would over-power my good-nature about getting there hours before the doors opened (he just wouldn't understand). i paid for both our tickets and he agreed to pay me back for his later. you see, when i go to concerts i'm solely there to soak up the sound and presence of the ones i adore. so i guess this guy was annoyed with me that i wasn't putting out the tlc so he started making convo with the girl next to him. and he left his front-row spot to supposedly go to the bathroom but returns with a water bottle for her. that's ok, he got me one too.

so the story goes, i owed him $15. i texted him and we made plans to met up so i could pay him. anyway, too skip a lot of detail (which i hate to do, but will do for your sake) i call him 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet and ask him where the-where he is. he was like...(in a voice that may have sounded like ben stiller's airhead voice) "wha?...wha? you didn't get my message? wha..? i didn't think it was worth it to drive all the way up there for just $15 and was thinking we could just use it go to a movie or something." "well, sure" i reply. little did i know, it was a booby trap! ;-) he then proceeds to accuse me of the following: he heard through the grapevine that i have a boyfriend (lol, sorry, i'm laughing) and that it seems like i'm not into him. i was taken back to my dana jr. high days for a brief moment. as soon as i felt like i cheated on him, i successfully ended the call.

[actually, no details were left out--for my sake].

so here is a film i stumbled into on a friend of a friend's blog. i love it!! notice how the guy is so into her and she, not so much. she then has to break-up with him when there wasn't a relationship to begin with!

it's 26 minutes long so give yourself some time to indulge. you know i love quoting humorous lines and sometimes it spoils it for you but i'm going to do it anyway because i want you to pay close attention!!!

-"this is an awesome party."
-"yeah, great...decorations."

-"chicks are attracted to lonely guys."
-"You look good but you look like you're waiting."

-"and when you're on the street--depending on the street--i bet you're definitely in the top three good-looking girls on the street."

-"you're so beautiful, you could be a waitress or a part-time model."

-"i can't believe i'm sharing a kabob with the most beautiful girl i've ever seen with a kabob."

-"you're so beautiful like a..tree or a high-class prostitute."

-"it's just that i think she's 'the one'."
-"sally? what makes you say that?"
-"you just know. when it happens to you, you'll know." [pffff]
-"you said michelle was 'the one'."
-"yeah, she's 'the one' too."
-"you said claire was 'the one'."
-"she another 'one'."
-"so you get more than one 'one'?"
-"some people are lucky..."

-"you can tell me anything, anything. i promise i won't think you're a pervert."

-"when you told me you were leaving, that's when i definitely knew you were leaving."

-"you can't break my heart, it's liquid. it melted when i met you."

-"if i am crying, it's not cuz of you, it's because i'm thinking about a friend of mine--that you don't know--who is dying, that's right, dying."

-"i'm not crying, i've just been cutting onions. i'm making a lasagna, for one."

Seattle

This trip was taken almost a year ago. Dena and I sacrificed Lake Tapps fireworks and rushed home before the 4th so we could spend it with our "men" who turned out to be a losers. We live and then we learn...

I don't think I ever blogged about it, so here is a slideshow I created for your viewing pleasure.

SOME OF MY FAVORITE CHAIN LETTERS

I'll be honest, if I get an email from you with "FW:" in the title I will do one or more of the following:

1) Roll my eyes
2) Be disappointed in you
3) Say: "pffff"
4) Delete it without reading it
5) Laugh my socks off

Here are the ones that I responded with #5

TEN TRUTHS ABOUT WHITES, BLACKS, ASIANS, & HISPANICS

TEN TRUTHS BLACK, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. NSYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional spanking helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.


TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Tupac is dead.
2. O.J. did it.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Ranch is a salad dressing, not a side dish.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. Wearing a ring on each finger is bad fashion sense.
8. Church does not require you to wear expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10.Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.


TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT ASIAN PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. You can't drive.
2. Disneyland is not the happiest place on earth.
3. It's not necessary to change your birth name to an "American name."
4. We have enough nail salons and dry cleaning businesses.
5. Taking pictures is fun, taking pictures of strangers is weird.
6. Feet were meant to grow.
7. You need girls just as much as you need boys.
8. Dogs were meant to be pets, not eaten.
9. You dont need above a 4.0 to graduate.
10. Fanny packs are not an accessory.


TEN TRUTHS WHITE, BLACK, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickies are unattractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. The only part of the car that should touch the ground are the tires.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. Ten people to a car or house is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad
>>>fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE NOT THE MOST POPULAR GUY IN SCHOOL

KEEP SHARPIES AWAY FROM MEXICANS

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SO CAL IF...

1. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
2. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
3. You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell
>>phone (this goes for anyone who has a cell phone).
4. You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.
5. You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below**).
>> **Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what
>>the distance, "about twenty minutes".
6. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
7. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on
>>the same day.
8. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
9. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on
>>foot,you're definitely driving
10. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
11. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other
>>states because they don't have any (besides NV and soon So. UT)
12. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
13. You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
14. You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times... You don't
>>remember at least 1 of them.
15. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
16. You eat pineapple on pizza (yuck! I hate it).
17. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of
>>your head.
18. You think that Venice is a beach.
19. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
20. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
21. You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818"
>>would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is
>>ghetto/second class.
>>Best area code: "714." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because
>>it stinks there.
22. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
23. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
24. The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
25. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the
>>Hill". It doesn't
>> matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you
>>are just better than
>> them, for whatever reason.
26. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will
>>find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
27. You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
28. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
29. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every
>>news station: "STORM WATCH"
30. The Terminator is your governor.
31. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends
>>from California.